If you bought £1000 of shares from Northern Rock in 2007, one year later it would have been worth £4.95. If, however, you bought £1000 of Tenants lager, drank it all, and then took the empty cans to the aluminium recycling plant, you would have got £214.
Moral: Drinking is financially more productive than banking. Tonight I am going for a pint.
Sep one: Agree to go to the pub with David Chapman (my Brother) for a quick beer.
Step two: Order a hot dog, during which you have two pints, and in doing so acquire the taste for more beer.
Step three: Let a stranger talk you into doing a quiz.
Step four: Cheat at quiz using Wikipedia.
Step five: Having cheated for pretty much the entire quiz, and getting told off for it, still manage to come last and then become convinced by the winners at the table next to you that the loser wins a pot of Jelly beans.
Step six: Ask barman for said Jelly Beans.
Andrew Chapman / Author and Screenwriter 