A Hard-Drive to the Scrap Heap

As some of you will know my dear Hard-Drive left this world recently. It was taken to a Computer Repair Hospital and was diligently shot. It had one sole purpose in life and that was to remember. It would sit, nestled under my keyboard at the heart of my laptop, and just remember stuff. Like a monk, quietly concentrating on every word I wrote, remembering in detail every picture taken and video captured, it was a feat of great retention. And do you know what? It had never even occurred to me to ask how my old pal was doing. If he needed a break, or a sandwich, no, I ignored it and assumed it was an easy job for a part designed specifically to do just that.

And then, one day, while I toiled my way through the bland sense orgy that is common working life – the insipid drudge that keeps us from our passions – that trusty Hard-Drive of mine had a senior moment and, for reasons still unclear, forgot everything. It just forgot. It happens to the best of us.

Which is why it was sadly put to rest. I’m not sure how Hard-Drive’s are killed, I suspect they are just flung on one of the many piles of electronics crap that littered the Computer Hospital. But, before it was killed, the Computer Doctor – A man named Dave with no real doctorates as far as I’m aware – plugged it in to a machine and ran a retrieval program. There was no guarantee it would find anything.

It ran for 48 hours.

I was in Tesco browsing through the microwave meals when my phone rang a few days later. I answered it.

“Hullo?”

“Is that Andy?”

“Yes?”

“The bloke with the pitiful hard drive?” (note that he says hard drive with no hyphen or capital letters, this man knows his stuff).

“Ah, yes, that’s me. It’s not good then?”

“Can I recommend that next time you buy a hard drive you avoid Western Global* parts? They are notoriously bad. Where did you get this one?”

“It was inside my laptop.”

“Well, I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some bad news.”

I put down my shopping basket and braced myself. “Let’s start with the worse?”

“It’s fucked.”

“Not a good start.”

“No.”

“And the good news?”

“I have managed to recover all of your files.”

I was so relieved I nearly dropped a microwave lasagne.

In the end it cost me £100 for the 48 hour retrieval and another £40 for a new hard drive, which they installed for free. So all in all not such a bad deal. It’s damn cheaper than buying a new laptop. And, most importantly, all my writing was saved!

*I didn’t actually catch the make he was trying to warn me off (I was momentarily distracted by an upturned microwavable cauliflower cheese that required righting) so this is by no means consumer advice. In fact, I’ve just Googled it and it turns out Western Global is actually an airline.**

** If, by chance, you do find a Western Global Airline inside you laptop please report it to the authorities and then admit yourself into a hospital. Your computer is probably fine, but you are almost certainly having a meltdown.

To read the first part of this post click here – The Solemn Death of a Beloved Hard-drive

One Comment Add yours

  1. Thanks for the update. Tweeted and FB’d – look for them around 4:20 pm

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